Lessons from the Not-So-New Newlywed begins in my Prologue and ends in the final chapter with my reflection on the idea and concept of “happily-ever-after.” Therefore, I think that this is the first topic that I should discuss. And, after I have touched on many other interesting marital topics that are discussed in my book, I will come back full circle to this idea.
If you are married, I want you to look at your favorite wedding picture of you and your spouse. Now, study your picture and think back. What were you thinking at that very moment on your wedding day? What did you think your marriage would be like? What did you envision for your future? What was your spouse’s idea?
I am sure that somewhere in your thoughts on your wedding day, you thought about living happily-ever-after. It seems like when we are engaged and first get married, we are all striving to live happily-ever-after as a married couple like in the movies and fairy tales. However, does happily-ever-after really exist?
As the years come and go, you will look back at your favorite wedding picture, and you probably will realize that your path together is not that straight and perfect path into the sunset and the world of happily-ever-after. There will be curves and bumps, but hopefully, more better times than bad times. Time will only tell, and maybe, that is what is exciting about marriage?
I think we all have our own visions of happily-ever-after that is tailored to us depending upon our lives and our relationships. For me, I look at my husband, and he is truly my best friend. I look back on our last five years of marriage, and we have endured so much—the better, the worse, the richer, the poorer, and the unexpected. But, just being with that one person whom you know you belong with is priceless. I see how through it all, we are still together, and we are still committed.
I believe that happily-ever-after is not this utopia of love, happiness, and perfection. Happily-ever-after is finding someone who loves us just the way we are—imperfect and all, and who loves us throughout the times—good times and bad. Happily-ever-after is knowing that there was someone whom we loved, and no matter what happened, that person loved us enough to join hands with us and travel through this journey of life together.
With that being said, do you agree? Disagree? Looking at your wedding photograph, what was your vision of happily-ever-after at the time you were married? Has that vision changed since being married? Does happily-ever-after exist? If so, what is a realistic version of happily-ever-after? Please share your experiences, opinions, and friendly advice!
–T.C. DaCruz
Lessons From the Not-So-New Newlywed 